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So, I’m Pregnant

Timestamp: 8 weeks 1 day
Baby size: Green Olive (yum.)

It’s weird! I fully comprehend that I am actively growing a small human, but I feel WAY to young to be doing so. Then I remember I’m 31, and this sort of thing is not at all out of the ordinary. As a matter of fact, it’s rather commonplace considering our planet’s population is 7 billion strong (…and growing! Ah, gotta love Flintstones vitamins).

Anyway, I just wanted to use this space to ramble on about some of my pregnancy observations. By no means is this new to anyone who has been pregnant before, but it’s my first time so JUST LET ME DO IT! (See? I need to discuss these mood swings. It’s like a roller coaster of emotion I did not wait in line for.)

And the nausea! I must not have seen very many pregnant women on a day-to-day basis in my life, because I don’t remember ever questioning how these ladies got through a normal day without whimpering on the couch. And you know the kind of whimper I mean, even if you haven’t been pregnant before. It’s that “Am I going to vomit or not?” paralysis where you sort of half-whisper “I don’t feel good” in a child’s voice while waiting for a kind soul to take pity on you and brush the hair out of your face and rub your back and say, “Shh, it’s going to be ok. What can I get you? Water? Crackers? An operation to remove your stomach so you can’t feel nausea anymore?” Basically I cannot give enough props to pregnant women who also work jobs that require them to be out of their house. HOW DO YOU DO IT? ARE YOU A MAGIC WIZARD??

And finally, what the HELL is with this pregnancy math? (If you already know this, bear with me.) Did you know they start your “pregnancy countdown” on the first day of your last period?! I sure as hell did NOT. It took me days to figure out exactly how pregnant I was, and it’s no wonder! Apparently you’re considered pregnant for two whole weeks before you even CONCEIVE that ball of cells. Can someone pass the abacus, please? Damn.

Well that wraps up my rant for the day! I kind of enjoy getting all these thoughts out so I may continue on this route. What? It’s lame? YOU’RE LAME! AND I’M GROWING A SPINAL CORD, DAMMIT! (One massive pregnancy perk? Using it as an excuse for…everything.) Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to try and choke down my prenatal horse pill!


1 Comment

  1. tracy says:

    I am so going to enjoy this journey with you it brings back sooooo many memories.

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